On the Web

The SpiderA noiseless patient spider,
I mark’d where on a little promontory it stood isolated,
Mark’d how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launch’d forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself,
Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them.

And you O my soul where you stand,
Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,
Till the bridge you will need be form’d, till the ductile anchor hold,
Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere, O my soul.

                 — Walt Whitman 1819-1892

(Golden Orbs recolonise Olympic Park – Sydney Morning Herald, 10-Apr-2003)

Hot enough for you?

Today was a blastfurnace wind, from just before dawn, when I looked out on my severalth trip to the bathroom to pat myself down with cold water on a face washer, and the eastern sky was a glaring bright hazy white. And I had to spend considerable time out in it stocking up for my trip (opaque, heat-reflective umbrella didn’t help, cos most heat was in the air). Brain a touch touched.

In Sydney & nearby, daytime maxima have been high 30Cs to low 40Cs (~100-110F), and minima over inland night have been around 25-30C (77-86F). Coast tends to be a touch cooler, but more humid from the sea-breeze; Western suburbs just lie there and bake in shimmering mirages. Adelaide, and other, places have been rather higher for rather longer; a week or more. Records were broken. Other records melted. (Dubai & the like, OTOH, chortle at such fussin’, when they reach 50C+ (120F+) regularly.)

Burial & other bodily solutions

BTW, can anyone help, or point me towards help, with information on the usefulness of bodies with metastatic cancer for assorted organ transplants. Would cornea or skin be possible, if nothing else?
Alternatively, should I try contacting various medical schools or anatomy museums to find if they’d be interested in a massively-surgically-altered specimen as an example? Not sure about ‘plastination’.

Would have for all these to make sure to, say, shave hair & take some nail clippings for modest burial. Wonder if anyone’d like to try some Victorian-style hair jewellery?

If it appears beforehand no-one wants body or its parts, I’m hoping for a “natural” style burial on a rural hillside I own. There’s a polished stone & fossil necklace I also own called ‘Drowned in Stone’ that’s already set aside to wear. We can tuck my partner’s ashes in too.

(Cunning plan is for a comfy, back-supporting, scoop-seated stone bench on top (local stone is granite), so people can rest & admire the view, with bowl (have a glazed ceramic one might do) on shady side for animals (with climbing ridges for small ones that fall in — seen too many drowned) & water-draining seat, and inscription on back. (E. longiflora decoration wherever. Ends?) Also hoping for carefully selected local small shade tree at right position for hottest times. Or *maybe* peppercorn, but needs more distance. For *real* fancy stuff, they could drag a lump of Pyrmont sandstone — there are some in my backyard, or use a rough chunk — up, flatten the top to a slight skillion (water-shedding) & prop it in a convenient spot nearby on the hillside for spreading a small picnic while you’re sitting there. Can’t work out a place for chunks of the fossil-rich mudstone found under the sandstone layer, it’s too soft to leave exposed for more than a few years.

If the council isn’t keen, well it’ll all have to go up near the rocky summit, tucked into the dry? sclerophyll woodland. Should blend in well, esp. if they do the ‘old paint the new stone with milky water’ trick to get the granite scungied up.)

Fade away or gradually die

Some more sad news Edward Woodward’s BBC Obituary

I mentioned Breaker Morant just recently elsewhere. Callan seems to have branded itself into a generation, too. Glad now DVD releases are available. The Wicker Man has left quite an impact as well. Saw him only a couple of weeks ago, doing a good job in a recent Britcrime TV drama. Only one I can see in IMDB list is Jonnie Johnson in The Bill – which I virtually never watch, maybe it was spotting him sucked me in?

It sounds like a pretty good life overall: family together, not too much financial or physical struggle, doing good work in profession he enjoyed. Always sad to lose his like, tho’.

Contemplating yesterday

Don’t really like that word “palliative”, when it’s used in my direction. “Curative” or “healing” would be much nicer. Doctors say most important thing is to make my “quality of life” as good on possible for as long as possible.

OTOH, not having something to “make me more comfortable” is an even worse thought. Much medical treatment is a lot like torture with good intentions (even with pain management). I’ve definitely learnt cowardice, like the burnt child fears the fire.

Should really get on with photo books & “arranging affairs” (@#!&*%*#@!! paperwork). Probably in some kind of denial/ultimate procrastination. Don’t appear to have learnt anything important from the last 10 years of “teaching experiences”. The stupid must go right to the bone: Cue one of Pris’ better-known quotes. Still, market for inspirational books (Above It All: My Spiritual Journey from Cancer to Climbing Mt Everest in a Wheelchair*) must surely be glutted now. So many people getting to ages of more illness, there’ll be more authors than readers.

Feel better after blood for anaemia yesterday (Vampire Mez. Practicing accent: Wampire.). Charcoal tablets seem to be working, too, unless some other thing is helping reduce gas explosions. Will add to stock for trip. Another landmark: got Nelune car lift to hospital because was scared if I walked same gas blow-out would happen as the other day when I tried to go to pay bill, shops.

Was going to discuss “palliative” with friends — being up at hospital with them, back in Rehab (separate room, with openable window, own toilet, relative peace and quiet), after treatment and appointments — but got distracted talking and dealing with odd problems that popped up.

Hope your Black Friday went well.

* Note: Not entirely a joke. There’s a new one out about a couple of Aboriginal(?) footballers(?) travelling in the desert, one of whom is in chemo/radio therapy at the time. (So either it’s a short trip or they’ve spaced out treatments longer round the trip or it’s just after treatment.)

[UPDATE] Kurt Fearnley, who normally uses a wheelchair because he was born with the lower part of his spine missing, went back to his childhood form of locomotion — pulling himself along by his arms while his much-shrunken legs trail along after his body — to crawl along the entire Kokoda Track because the steep slopes & muddy ground made using a wheelchair impractical. (Up & Down Stories – Kokoda & Me) While I have to drop my shopping and lay down for quite some time just after going around the block and climbing the 57 steps back to my flat, and he’s an athlete, it’s still quite something. (See www.smh.com.au/ execute_search.html? text=kokoda+fearnley&ss =smh.com.au)

A different 9/11 remembrance

Since the start of this blog, usually on this day, running up to Remembrance/Armistice Day on 11/11, I commemorate the 9/11/1938 Night of Broken Glass (Kristallnacht), also called the State Pogrom Night. Especially since, not only due remembrance for itself, it has examples of political and propaganda uses, twisted mendacity in language, an interlocking step-by-step spiral of violence and oppression, and breathtaking fraud (including monetary).

(2008) Crystalline: 9/11 (9th November)
(2007): It’s 9/11 (9th November) again – Kristallnacht
(2006): Anniversary: The First 9/11 — Broken Glass & Ashes
(2004): The First 9/11 — Broken Glass & Ashes
(2003): Repeating the Kristallnacht 9/11 entry from 2002
(2002): Remember Kristallnacht – 9/11/38 [In Australia 9/11 is November 9th]

One year, I remembered another sad incident associated with this date: (2005): 9/11 Returns: Stari Most at Mostar

here’s a collection of historic German November 9ths at selenak’s LiveJournal, Musings, originally from 2008, in the almost-immediate aftermath of Barack Obama’s election as US President. (http://selenak.livejournal.com/429403.html)
(The Yorkshire Ranter added a couple more in comments.)

But this year has happier memories. It’s the 20th Anniversary of the 1989 Fall of the Berlin Wall. Perched on my grandmother’s living room floor watching the B & W television showing coverage of the Building of The Wall in 1961 is one of my earliest datable memories. So reliving those days and nights 28 years after that and 51 after “the start of The Holocaust” — well within a human lifespan — it’s good to celebrate its joy.

Here’s some quick links to places where thoughts and memories were shared on this: It was twenty years ago today. One of the commenters there reminds us: “November 9th has been a significant day in German history for several reasons other than those … In 1923, it was the date of Hitler’s Beer Hall Putsch, and in 1918 it was the day the Kaiser abdicated and the German Republic was declared.” As well as some in the Musings LJ post mentioned above, this year’s 9/11 there is called Freiheit schöner Götterfunken… (a poem later altered to Freude schöner Götterfunken).

<!– (2008) Crystalline: 9/11 (9th November) –>

<!– (2007): It’s 9/11 (9th November) again – Kristallnacht –>

<!– (2006): Anniversary: The First 9/11 — Broken Glass & Ashes –>

<!– (2004): The First 9/11 — Broken Glass & Ashes –>

<!– (2003): Repeating the Kristallnacht 9/11 entry from 2002 –>

<!– (2002): Remember Kristallnacht – 9/11/38 [In Australia 9/11 is November 9th] –>

<!– (2005): 9/11 Returns: Stari Most at Mostar –>

Chemotherapy + Gripe update

Wherein Much Tedious Matter is Related
Hoo boy, whatta *fun* few weeks!

Last gripe was a few days after start. Survived a week or so more on water, peppermint tea, watered juice, watered stock, crystallized ginger, barley sugar & some mints. (Don’t know why I forgot Gatorade powder I keep to make up into drink for just such emergencies.)

Seemed to stabilize, so l tried adding jelly, plain rice, rice noodles & dry crackers, e.g Ryevita (not all at once) to existing diet. Found only small amount of solids was tolerable. Could take more as long as each serving was small, so I would divide a meal and eat across a longer time. Could be that stomach was shrunken, but also having trouble swallowing. Worrying. Too sick sometimes to get out at all. Had to postpone tests, therefore chemotherapy, a week.

After not being able to get beyond that stage without prostrating myself, reading up on side-effects & discussing it, I tried stopping the oxybutrynin (pill suggested by non-cancer specialist). Improved (was able to do CT scan & blood tests), but weakness, tiredness, low stamina persisted. Never fully well. Also, non-cancer symptoms being slightly improved by pill came back.

Mixed feelings that the tests showed 3 x usual blood calcium. It was coming out of my bones, like osteoporosis, which might account for some of my backaches. Also makes you feel dreadful, which fitted well. Pausing chemo & taking new megestrol tablets to “push the calcium back into” my bones.

Touch worried that the cancer is getting stronger. Been taking new pills & feeling better, I think.

One Month on

Dustday + 30
Previous entry about Dustday (Dust Day (23rd ,September, 2009) in Sydney)

It used to be a nine-days’ wonder. Now everything’s faster.

Chemotherapy + Gripe

NOTE: Skip this to avoid whinging, complaining & yukkiness.

Think I’ve washed most of the cytotoxins and their accompanying protective drugs out, as far as possible, so started on the new drug from specialist.

Eating as healthily as I can manage, with fresh fruit & juices, vegies, fish, organic meats & milk, nice bread, etc. Have the best emergency low-prep foods I can manage — low-processed frozen food, parboiled rice, dried pasta from different grains. There’s a few made-up “boil in the bag” meals that don’t need freezing & some canned stuff in case of times when I just can’t manage anything more.

Near low-immune part of cycle, so I’m doing things like throwing out any slightly-suss food, rinsing plates & utensils in boiling water, cleaning surfaces, using different sets of rubber gloves for handling different stuff, washing gloves in disinfectant, washing my hands with sanitizing stuff before eating, or after toilet. Being extra careful not to get nicked or bruised, staying away from crowds.

So WHY am I exploding hydrogen sulphide gas from both ends like a locomotive blowing steam!?!?!? Diarrhoea for about 24 hours. Now this morning, without more food today than some ginger to try and settle stomach, brought up half a litre or so of bright yellow bile. Bleurgh.

Is it new drug? Did I pick bug up in Rehabilitation Unit, where they had gastro going round erlier? Was food more suspicious than I suspected? Or what? How?

Just what I need when I’m already weak & tired & really low & washed out. Bleah.

And I definitely don’t want to take this in to sick friend, or his partner. Will try some peppermint tea soon. Maybe barley sugar to keep up energy.

Friend’s Stroke: some wonderful news

I haven’t been too well, so haven’t written much, and, worse, haven’t been to see my friend as much. So it was great first to see him with a new tracheotomy that meant he could put a finger over the tube and speak, and in a separate room.

Then they removed the trachie and the nasogastric tube altogether! Talking! Started him on fluids; soup, yoghurt, etc; then puree/mashed meals. Now he’s out of the hospital building, over in Rehabilitation Unit — same building where I was in hospice care on floor above. So back to shared ward.

If you’ve seen 2001: A Space Odyssey, the mashed meals remind me of the coloured goo in squares on a white rectangular divided plate that Poole and Bowman ate on the Jupiter. Except they are served out by what may be an icecream scoop and the plates are round.

Chemotherapy: 3rd cycle (2009)

So this is the start of the third cycle of this set of chemotherapy. This time haven’t had much of an upswing at the end of the last cycle. Feeling tired. Apart from that, everything went without problems.
Also saw specialist for results of tests and scans. They couldn’t find any problems, which is sort of good, though it means we can’t pinpoint any cause for my symptoms. Normally they’d do an endoscopic examination to try and see anything that might be there and not shown up, but will wait ’til after chemotherapy. In meantime there’s some tablets I can try to see if they make a difference.

I used opportunity of being out to grab bus downtown with assorted medical receipts, including that appointment, to Medicare. Good refund, covered most of the water rates I’d just got. Feeling a little cheered, I caught bus to Daily Planet* Foodcourt and got two bowls of different pho to take home. I can usually get two meals from each. Very nourishing and easy while I expect to feel poorly. Then bus home.

TravelPass is a great blessing for the frail and ill. It lets us get out and do things we wouldn’t have the strength to do if we couldn’t catch transport for short jumps. I worry the new card system won’t be as good — there were nasty hints during previous contretemps about an ‘integrated smart card system’.

[Toilet: before setting out; reaching hospital; during chemo; before leaving hospital; reaching Glasshouse (Medicare); GPO/Westin before catching bus; Daily Planet before catching bus. I do hope those blasted tablets help.]

* formerly Ernst & Young; might be Pavilion now. It looks like Clark Kent works there, though I don’t think it’s been used in any of the Superman movies they’ve filmed here.

“Yes, the world does revolve around me” (Nero)

Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus aka Nero Claudius Caesar Drusus Germanicus, born Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus, only son of Agrippina the Younger, sister of emperor Caligula and daughter of Germanicus, who was grandson to Augustus’s wife, Livia, on one side and to Mark Antony and Octavia on the other. Right in the most prominent aristocratic circles of Imperial Rome.

When Caligula and his family were murdered, Claudius became emperor. After executing his third wife, Messalina, he married Agrippina and adopted the 13-year-old Lucius, renaming him Nero Claudius Caesar Drusus. Claudius only survived a few years, and Nero became emperor at 16, the youngest emperor up to that time.

Nero ruled over “interesting times” from AD 54–68 AD. Although generally popular with the lower Roman classes for a number of measures, including laws favouring them, putting down the Britannic Revolt of 60–61 AD, public aid after the fire of 64AD, and cracking down on terrorist-type groups like ‘Chresters’, he consolidated much power (and wealth) to the emperor through show trials and arbitrary executions of the upper classes and wealthy ‘new men’, and slowly usurped most of the authority of the Senate, losing him support in the upper classes.

After Nero’s suicide in 68, there was a widespread belief (the Nero Redivivus Legend) especially in the eastern provinces, that he was not dead and somehow would return, like Arthur, the Once and Future King, and others over the centuries. Over the next twenty years at least three Nero imposters emerged leading rebellions. The legend lasted as a popular belief for centuries. He was reviled by Christian writers, however, because of his persecution of the ‘Chrestians’.

Nero’s rotating dining room uncovered (SMH. Pictures? Not a sausage.)

Nero’s rotating banquet hall unveiled in Rome (Yahoo, slideshow + video)
news.yahoo.com/ s/ ap/ 20090929/ ap_on_re_eu/ eu_italy_nero_s_dining_room
MARTA FALCONI, Associated Press Writer – Tue Sep 29

Yahoo! links disappear quickly, so here are a selection of others with pictures, videos & background information.

Nero’s rotating banquet hall unveiled in Rome (NPR. pix with captions + map)
www.npr.org/ templates/ story/ story.php?storyId=113302798

VIDEO: Emperor Nero’s Rotating Dining Room Unearthed (Post Chronicle. a video report and images of the ancient dining area)
www.postchronicle.com/ news/ strange/ article_212259312.shtml

NERO`S ROTATING DINING ROOM FOUND (Italy Online in English, only 1 picture, but more history and background)
www.lifeinitaly.com/ node/ 7955

And a typical Daily Mail treatment (their headline for the new hominid fossil discovery, ‘Ardi’, is “First ape woman suggests human ancestors may have started walking in pursuit of sex“), slavering at length over Nero’s reported sex-and-sadism excesses before concluding with “We can only hope that this time it is not the setting for such unbridled horrors”.
Wine, women and slaughter: The truth behind Emperor Nero’s pleasure palace
(www.dailymail.co.uk/ news/ article-1217587/ Wine-women-slaughter-The-truth-Emperor-Neros-pleasure-palace.html)

Another Roman excavation – an old port near Rome with some surprising features
Face in the sand: British team unearths Roman amphitheatre at ancient port
(www.dailymail.co.uk/ sciencetech/ article-1217353/ Face-sand-Roman-amphitheatre-unearthed-ancient-port.html
OR
tinyurl.com/y92v37b)

Y’know despite their relentless “UK! UK! UK!, Oi! Oi! Oi!” and tabloid sex, violence & sentiment slant, the Daily Mail at least seems to cover a fair bit of science with reasonable length & depth. By comparison with what I see in Australia & the glimpses of popular press in the USA I get, anyway.

<!– –>

Exciting Picture News

Wheeeee!! Not only am I getting an acknowledged* publication (small, down the back) of that photograph from the previous post (informally titled Dust Day Laundry) in a Quick & Dirty, but pretty, MagCloud occasional issue of pix from the Great Sydney Dust Day called Strange Light: Photos from the Great Australian Dust Storm (very entrepreneurial of Mr Powazek), but made my very first public photo sale! (Through my CafePress store) Haven’t seen pic on paper yet, I do hope it prints up OK. There’s $US0.50 somewhere in that system that’s mine, mine!, mine!!, allllll mine!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
(OK. <quick sigh> Actually, it’s ~80% mine after tax, but the full 50c has, like, total personal gloating rights, heh.)

I’m wondering if this might be one example of The Future of Publishing — The post next to that one on Derek Powazek’s blog is entitled: How to Publish a Magazine in a Day and a Half. OTOH, it’s pretty much a modern version of those early broadsheets about notable events, e.g. a celebrity hanging. On the gripping hand, there are discussable differences as well as similarities.

* Me, bitter about unacknowledged use of my stuff over the years? Certainly.

Dust Day (23rd September, 2009) in Sydney; Stroke cont.

I raced up & took some photos from my flats’ roof, trying to match some of the views I’ve taken on clear days, plus a few more that I thought looked good. It did have this strange effect — the feeling that “either there’s so much stuff in the air it can’t get into my lungs, or there’s something missing from what is getting in” on my ventures out
that kept them brief.

Here’s the link to the Flickr set
www.flickr.com/ photos/ sketchesbymez/ sets/ 72157622437316334

One of the pictures has become quite popular, which is pleasing and terrifying in equal measure. (In this Flickr Gallery by Tom Coates, and two ABC slideshows) I’ve had trouble with my image editor, so didn’t put a watermark on any before I uploaded, which means it doesn’t always have attribution (snarl). This has spurred me to getting a dedicated little watermarking program. It’s like backing up data; so many people don’t really get it working until they’ve had that first really bad experience.

IMG_1783: Dust Day Laundry (23rd September, 2009, Sydney)

There are a lot of other pictures and descriptions online. The Daily Terrorgraph had a whole multipage supplement about it the next day.

Adelaide is *seething*, ‘cos they’ve been getting days like this for years and haven’t had nearly so much attention <sound of sulking>, and Melburnians are pulling out their memories of the spectacular cloud that hit them back in February 1983, a week before the Ash Wednesday Fires — see Australian Bureau of Statistics (www.abs.gov.au) on Natural Disasters.

Health Update: Friend’s Stroke
He is definitely improving, but until they put in a different tracheotomy setup, still can’t talk. He can write, but poorly, and is exercising his working right side. I assume there’s some physiotherapy for the leg & arm he can’t move voluntarily. They’ve been able to put him into a sort of super-armchair on wheels so he can go out into the lounge near the lifts to get a change of scene, look out the windows (the ward ones face blank wall) & have ‘private’ talks. He still gets frustrated & depressed, understandably; as do I, & his other friends.

History Tour Links
Last weekend, a friend helped me get through an ABC-linked history walking tour. This is the photo album on the 702 ABC Sydney Facebook account (702 ABC Sydney) [open, public, you don’t have to sign in or be registered on FaceBook], called Slurry Hills and Razorhurst History Walk; also a note on their blog. Good, but laid me up for 2-3 days — mostly recovering Just In Time for Dust Day.

More on Reader’s Digest Building, Surry Hills, Sydney

Readers Digest Moves
26 May 2004

www.propertiesonline.com.au/ laingsimmons/ commercial/ news/ industry_news.asp? f_NewsletterID=936&f_HeadOfficeID=&f_AgentID=445

Following the sale of its headquarters in Surry Hills for $14 million yesterday, Readers Digest is expected to finalise lease execution for a new head office site, within the next few weeks. The publisher is rumoured to be taking up space at 80 Bay Street, Ultimo with plans to occupy the premises by the beginning of September …

Laing+Simmons Commercial was also responsible for the sale of Readers Digest’s high profile building at 26 – 32 Waterloo Street, Surry Hills for $14 million. The deal was negotiated by Mr. Tony Anderson and Mr. Lindsay Sturrock.

The purchasers of the 4,022sqm property at 26 – 32 Waterloo Street, Surry Hills are a private investment company who plan to refurbish it for re-lease as commercial space. Already there has been interest from various groups looking to accommodate educational facilities and possible Campus …

Background Information on the Readers Digest building
26 – 32 Waterloo Street, Surry Hills

The Readers Digest building in Sydney’s Surry Hills is one of the most striking and original examples of late 20th century commercial building design. It was built for Readers Digest and was officially opened in November 1967. Designed by renowned Sydney architect, John James, who studied under the famous French architect, Le Corbusier, the building’s style shows influences from Le Corbusier as well as John James’ interest in oriental architecture especially Japanese traditions.
[www.johnjames.com.au/ johnandhilaryjames-architecture.shtml]

It was the first office in Sydney designed to house a computer system.

Its exterior was constructed in such a way so that it would never need painting. A building rich in detail and quality, it features a massive landscaped rooftop garden, spacious entrance and reception, as well as intriguing sculptural detailing by Doug Annand.

The building occupies an acre of land and covers an entire city block bounded by Waterloo, Cooper and Adelaide Streets and Adelaide Place, Surry Hills.

It is listed as Item of Heritage

Another Stroke

The youngest and last of my mother’s brothers & sisters died suddenly this week. If my calculations are right, he would have been the same age father was when he died, but it sounds like he was spared the slow, suffering, decline in hospital. Of course his family are devastated. This leaves only one aunt on my father’s side alive of my parents’ generation.

Not much to add when it comes to either chemotherapy or my friend. The 3-day test for the new specialist was a bit of a trial, physically. I did use part of it to help get in training for today’s big expedition — a 2-hour history tour of the crime haunts of Surry Hills and Darlinghurst, specially dealing with the notorious Kate Leigh and Tilly Devine. Pretty well washed out by chemotherapy and tests, so I was worried if I’d make it through, but with a bit of luck and care, and leaning on another friend, we got through without too much trauma.

Slow progress with friend’s stroke. One of our big helpers, a childhood friend of his, was away for a week. I was first knocked about by Uncle’s death, then the chemo and other stuff. Next week his partner will have to go back to at least part-time work She wants to make up time now so she’ll have hours up her sleeve when she’s needed later during his rehabilitation. He was understandably pretty down at heart.

But I’m told they were able to take him out in the chair to the ‘lounge area’. At least you can look out the windows (ward windows look out on a blank wall) and get away from 24-hour presence of the other patients.

More slow steps for us both. Plodding on.

Friend’s Stroke: flickers of hope

Yesterday evening A half-opened his eye on the non-stroke side! I was there.

I wasn’t up to getting out today, but it’s reported that he opened *both* eyes and seems to be somewhat aware and responsive.

I’ve followed other young people’s slow, difficult recoveries in my online acquaintances, so this gives me hope, though also a dread of how hard it will be. (Different to mother’s series of strokes, getting worse & worse. Also seen in other older people.) But there are examples of lack of recovery too.

Thinking/hoping this intensive care is Medicare-covered. Further treatment and rehabilitation, dunno.

Metastasis: Chemotherapy 2009, first cycle

First Carboplatin treatment this morning. Tired beforehand, so I slept through some of the infusion, though the form-filling kept me awake more than I wanted.

After it finished, I went up to the Intensive Care Unit to see if I could visit A in the half hour before they close to visitors 1 – 3 pm, but they were busy with him. It may have been doing or preparing for his tracheotomy.

Most times I’ve found it takes some while for the unpleasant effects of the cytotoxic drug(s) to start being felt — it might also be the drugs they give you at the time — so I used the energy and being out already to get supplies, put money in bank, etc. Weather nice, so I planned to take my book and maybe some drink or food and sit with the cats, but time and energy ran out. Slept, then went to visit A in the evening.

Friend’s Stroke: waiting, hoping, fearing

Eight or nine days now since friend A. had cerebral haemmorrhage (on right, don’t know details). Aneurism evacuated, tube now on left to relieve pressure by draining fluid. He’s some spontaneous breathing & body movements, but no eye reaction yet. They’re balancing morphia and hypertension. We talk and touch and massage him, but I just don’t know what the odds are.

He’s only in his mid-forties and so much potential still for him to achieve more excellent things. And I’m just re-starting chemo, so desperately hoping I’ll be well enough to spend the hours with him I am now.

I’m so afraid we’ll be making some kind of “end-of-life” decision about him (please let it not be, please no, please).

So asking for some good vibrations thisaway, if you have ones to spare. I’ll be in and out, depending on sleep and other obligations.

Friend’s Stroke: shock, horror, confusion

A very good friend is ill. For years he’s known of and been treated for idiopathic hypertension. Seems to run in the family. Sometimes crazily high BP; rather drug-resistant, despite a good diet and definitely not being overweight. So over time many, many tests looking for causes, trying different drugs. It looked under control with diet, exercise, drugs. All either free, or at least affordable, with Australian Medicare and PBS (Pharmaceutical Benefit Scheme). Dentistry a different story.

He’s been nagging me to get off my tail and go off to enjoy myself because of my probable future bouts of cancer, and was angry that I hadn’t managed anything during the recently-ended remission. So I did head off for a weekend to Canberra (details to be posted separately), got off the train on Monday afternoon and found his partner, another friend, waiting on Central Station Concourse.

On the weekend a blood vessel burst in his head. Ambulance straight to our local, excellent, hospital. Tests, scans, operation, ICU, ‘nother operation adding ‘nother head-tube, ICU, re-scans; 2 visitors at a time. He’s still unconscious/under sedation. The medistaff are helpful, kind and fairly communicative. I’m trying to give whatever practical support his partner may need (food, laundry, music he or she might like, books for waiting time, ** any aid suggestions welcome **) and taking spells at bedside.

It’s fearful and deeply saddening to see him half-head-shaved, tangled in an ugly reticulation of lines and arcane wires and tape and tubes. Fearful for his easy physicality and fierce intelligence; fearful remembering despair and depression that came with my own pain, weakness and struggles with disabilities in my own illnesses. But, thank Whitlam & Co., all Labor governments, and continuing general Australian public opinion, we don’t fear financial disaster too, nor being thrown out/unplugged for non-payment. Thinking of that because I’d been following & commenting a little in the debate in the USA on the problems in their health care, particularly the insurance & payment arrangements.

This comes under "We Told You So"

Women stretched to snapping point
Adele Horin
July 4, 2009

The 1.5-earner family became the predominant form between 1997 and 2006, from 35 per cent of all couples with children under five to 46 per cent. But life for parents grew harder and less equal. By 2006, all parents were more likely to report feeling stressed

“There was reduced gender equity and strikingly increased reported time pressure,” the study found. Based on 772 families in 1997 and 652 families in 2006, and using Australian Bureau of Statistics data, the research will be presented at the Australian Social Policy Conference next week.

It shows part-time working mothers put in as many hours overall as full-time working mothers – when paid work, housework and child care were tallied – and worked longer than their 1997 counterparts.

The Howard government promoted the 1.5-earner model with family tax policies that provided most benefits to single-earner families and to couples with an 80:20 income split.

.

Journeying

From Trip to Minneapolis (June 2009)

Philosophical observations (formatted as poetry)

…
Train views are like water,
always the same, changing always
fleeting, glimpsed, gone.
…
       — Jo Walton

Colour & Light in a Winter’s Night

Full moon in luminous dusk sky. “Vivid” winter light festival on. Walked & watched w others on fine cool clear evening. Lovely.

Vivid Festival - Light walk Mosaic

1. IMG_1095 – Vivid: Lightbox city, 2. IMG_1085 – Vivid: Customs House, piano, lights, wires, 3. IMG_1060 – Vivid: cowled circle & outlier, 4. IMG_1041 – Vivid: Opera House

Hand-Foot Syndrome – cont. Further side-effect

Cancer Drug Erases Fingerprints
Cancer drug wiped patient’s fingerprints (Aust ABC News)
Drug erases fingerprints, causing immigration drama (SMH)
Cancer drug capecitabine causes patient to lose fingerprints and be detained by U.S. immigration
(The Medical News)
Cancer Drug Causes Patient To Lose Fingerprints And Be Detained By US Immigration (Science Daily)
Side Effect of Drug Capecitabine Is Fingerprint Loss (CancerQuest)
Cancer patient lacking fingerprints held by US customs (The Family GP)
Cancer drug causes patient to lose fingerprints and be detained by US immigration (e! Science News)
Cancer drug erases fingerprints (BBC News)

A patient who took a drug for cancer lost his fingerprints, which caused him to be detained for hours when he tried to visit the United States, according to an unusual case reported on Wednesday. The patient was unaware the treatment had wiped out his fingerprints.
The 62-year-old patient had been taking capecitabine, a follow-up drug for chemotherapy for cancer of the head and neck, Singaporean specialist Eng-Huat Tan and colleagues recounted in a letter to the British journal Annals of Oncology: Vol 20, No 7, p. 1281 (Travel warning with capecitabine).
Capecitabine’s side effects include inflammation of the palms and soles of the feet. The skin can peel, bleed and develop ulcers, and with time can cause fingerprints to be eradicated, Tan said. … “He was detained at the airport customs for four hours because immigration officers could not detect his fingerprints.” … Mr S. was eventually allowed to enter… He was advised to travel with a letter from his cancer doctor to explain his fingerprint-free condition.
The report urged patients who are put on long-term courses of capecitabine to be aware of the unusual risk. [AFP]

Neil Gaiman’s Wedding Poem

A Wedding Poem

This for you, for both of you,

a small poem of happiness
filled with small glories and little triumphs
a fragile, short cheerful song
filled with hope and all sorts of futures

Because at weddings we imagine the future
Because it’s all about ‘what happened next?’
all the work and negotiation and building and talk
that makes even the tiniest happily ever after
something to be proud of for a wee forever

This is a small thought for both of you
like a feather or a prayer,
a wish of trust and love and hope
and fine brave hearts and true.

Like a tower, or a house made all of bones and dreams
and tomorrows and tomorrows and tomorrows.

Neil Gaiman’s Journal: post-wedding post, Saturday, 19th August, 2006

And we thought they just made those stories up

Art imitates Life imitates Art?

A New Zealand couple from Roturua are reportedly on the run after $NZ10 million – instead of $NZ10,000 – was mistakenly deposited in their Westpac bank account.

(Assorted news stories abound; comments (some context, especially on the comments).)