On the Web

The SpiderA noiseless patient spider,
I mark’d where on a little promontory it stood isolated,
Mark’d how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launch’d forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself,
Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them.

And you O my soul where you stand,
Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,
Till the bridge you will need be form’d, till the ductile anchor hold,
Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere, O my soul.

                 — Walt Whitman 1819-1892

(Golden Orbs recolonise Olympic Park – Sydney Morning Herald, 10-Apr-2003)

One Month on

Dustday + 30
Previous entry about Dustday (Dust Day (23rd ,September, 2009) in Sydney)

It used to be a nine-days’ wonder. Now everything’s faster.

American Poem

I AM the people—the mob—the crowd—the mass.

Do you know that all the great work of this world is
done through me?
I am the workingman, the inventor, the maker of the
world’s food & clothes.
I am the audience that witnesses history. The Napoleons
come from me & the Lincolns. They die. &
then I send forth more Napoleons & Lincolns.

I am the seed ground. I am a prairie that will stand
for much plowing. Terrible storms pass over me.
I forget. The best of me is sucked out & wasted.
I forget. Everything but Death comes to me &
makes me work & give up what I have. & I forget.
Sometimes I growl, shake myself & spatter a few red
drops for history to remember. Then — I forget.

When I, the people, learn to remember, when I, the People
use the lessons of yesterday & no longer forget
who robbed me last year, who played me for
a fool — then there will be no speaker in all the world
say the name: “The People”, with any fleck of a
sneer in his voice or any far off smile of derision.

The mob—The crowd—The mass—will arrive then.

— Carl Sandburg

Chemotherapy + Gripe

NOTE: Skip this to avoid whinging, complaining & yukkiness.

Think I’ve washed most of the cytotoxins and their accompanying protective drugs out, as far as possible, so started on the new drug from specialist.

Eating as healthily as I can manage, with fresh fruit & juices, vegies, fish, organic meats & milk, nice bread, etc. Have the best emergency low-prep foods I can manage — low-processed frozen food, parboiled rice, dried pasta from different grains. There’s a few made-up “boil in the bag” meals that don’t need freezing & some canned stuff in case of times when I just can’t manage anything more.

Near low-immune part of cycle, so I’m doing things like throwing out any slightly-suss food, rinsing plates & utensils in boiling water, cleaning surfaces, using different sets of rubber gloves for handling different stuff, washing gloves in disinfectant, washing my hands with sanitizing stuff before eating, or after toilet. Being extra careful not to get nicked or bruised, staying away from crowds.

So WHY am I exploding hydrogen sulphide gas from both ends like a locomotive blowing steam!?!?!? Diarrhoea for about 24 hours. Now this morning, without more food today than some ginger to try and settle stomach, brought up half a litre or so of bright yellow bile. Bleurgh.

Is it new drug? Did I pick bug up in Rehabilitation Unit, where they had gastro going round erlier? Was food more suspicious than I suspected? Or what? How?

Just what I need when I’m already weak & tired & really low & washed out. Bleah.

And I definitely don’t want to take this in to sick friend, or his partner. Will try some peppermint tea soon. Maybe barley sugar to keep up energy.

Friend’s Stroke: some wonderful news

I haven’t been too well, so haven’t written much, and, worse, haven’t been to see my friend as much. So it was great first to see him with a new tracheotomy that meant he could put a finger over the tube and speak, and in a separate room.

Then they removed the trachie and the nasogastric tube altogether! Talking! Started him on fluids; soup, yoghurt, etc; then puree/mashed meals. Now he’s out of the hospital building, over in Rehabilitation Unit — same building where I was in hospice care on floor above. So back to shared ward.

If you’ve seen 2001: A Space Odyssey, the mashed meals remind me of the coloured goo in squares on a white rectangular divided plate that Poole and Bowman ate on the Jupiter. Except they are served out by what may be an icecream scoop and the plates are round.

Chemotherapy: 3rd cycle (2009)

So this is the start of the third cycle of this set of chemotherapy. This time haven’t had much of an upswing at the end of the last cycle. Feeling tired. Apart from that, everything went without problems.
Also saw specialist for results of tests and scans. They couldn’t find any problems, which is sort of good, though it means we can’t pinpoint any cause for my symptoms. Normally they’d do an endoscopic examination to try and see anything that might be there and not shown up, but will wait ’til after chemotherapy. In meantime there’s some tablets I can try to see if they make a difference.

I used opportunity of being out to grab bus downtown with assorted medical receipts, including that appointment, to Medicare. Good refund, covered most of the water rates I’d just got. Feeling a little cheered, I caught bus to Daily Planet* Foodcourt and got two bowls of different pho to take home. I can usually get two meals from each. Very nourishing and easy while I expect to feel poorly. Then bus home.

TravelPass is a great blessing for the frail and ill. It lets us get out and do things we wouldn’t have the strength to do if we couldn’t catch transport for short jumps. I worry the new card system won’t be as good — there were nasty hints during previous contretemps about an ‘integrated smart card system’.

[Toilet: before setting out; reaching hospital; during chemo; before leaving hospital; reaching Glasshouse (Medicare); GPO/Westin before catching bus; Daily Planet before catching bus. I do hope those blasted tablets help.]

* formerly Ernst & Young; might be Pavilion now. It looks like Clark Kent works there, though I don’t think it’s been used in any of the Superman movies they’ve filmed here.

“Yes, the world does revolve around me” (Nero)

Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus aka Nero Claudius Caesar Drusus Germanicus, born Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus, only son of Agrippina the Younger, sister of emperor Caligula and daughter of Germanicus, who was grandson to Augustus’s wife, Livia, on one side and to Mark Antony and Octavia on the other. Right in the most prominent aristocratic circles of Imperial Rome.

When Caligula and his family were murdered, Claudius became emperor. After executing his third wife, Messalina, he married Agrippina and adopted the 13-year-old Lucius, renaming him Nero Claudius Caesar Drusus. Claudius only survived a few years, and Nero became emperor at 16, the youngest emperor up to that time.

Nero ruled over “interesting times” from AD 54–68 AD. Although generally popular with the lower Roman classes for a number of measures, including laws favouring them, putting down the Britannic Revolt of 60–61 AD, public aid after the fire of 64AD, and cracking down on terrorist-type groups like ‘Chresters’, he consolidated much power (and wealth) to the emperor through show trials and arbitrary executions of the upper classes and wealthy ‘new men’, and slowly usurped most of the authority of the Senate, losing him support in the upper classes.

After Nero’s suicide in 68, there was a widespread belief (the Nero Redivivus Legend) especially in the eastern provinces, that he was not dead and somehow would return, like Arthur, the Once and Future King, and others over the centuries. Over the next twenty years at least three Nero imposters emerged leading rebellions. The legend lasted as a popular belief for centuries. He was reviled by Christian writers, however, because of his persecution of the ‘Chrestians’.

Nero’s rotating dining room uncovered (SMH. Pictures? Not a sausage.)

Nero’s rotating banquet hall unveiled in Rome (Yahoo, slideshow + video)
news.yahoo.com/ s/ ap/ 20090929/ ap_on_re_eu/ eu_italy_nero_s_dining_room
MARTA FALCONI, Associated Press Writer – Tue Sep 29

Yahoo! links disappear quickly, so here are a selection of others with pictures, videos & background information.

Nero’s rotating banquet hall unveiled in Rome (NPR. pix with captions + map)
www.npr.org/ templates/ story/ story.php?storyId=113302798

VIDEO: Emperor Nero’s Rotating Dining Room Unearthed (Post Chronicle. a video report and images of the ancient dining area)
www.postchronicle.com/ news/ strange/ article_212259312.shtml

NERO`S ROTATING DINING ROOM FOUND (Italy Online in English, only 1 picture, but more history and background)
www.lifeinitaly.com/ node/ 7955

And a typical Daily Mail treatment (their headline for the new hominid fossil discovery, ‘Ardi’, is “First ape woman suggests human ancestors may have started walking in pursuit of sex“), slavering at length over Nero’s reported sex-and-sadism excesses before concluding with “We can only hope that this time it is not the setting for such unbridled horrors”.
Wine, women and slaughter: The truth behind Emperor Nero’s pleasure palace
(www.dailymail.co.uk/ news/ article-1217587/ Wine-women-slaughter-The-truth-Emperor-Neros-pleasure-palace.html)

Another Roman excavation – an old port near Rome with some surprising features
Face in the sand: British team unearths Roman amphitheatre at ancient port
(www.dailymail.co.uk/ sciencetech/ article-1217353/ Face-sand-Roman-amphitheatre-unearthed-ancient-port.html
OR
tinyurl.com/y92v37b)

Y’know despite their relentless “UK! UK! UK!, Oi! Oi! Oi!” and tabloid sex, violence & sentiment slant, the Daily Mail at least seems to cover a fair bit of science with reasonable length & depth. By comparison with what I see in Australia & the glimpses of popular press in the USA I get, anyway.

<!– –>

Exciting Picture News

Wheeeee!! Not only am I getting an acknowledged* publication (small, down the back) of that photograph from the previous post (informally titled Dust Day Laundry) in a Quick & Dirty, but pretty, MagCloud occasional issue of pix from the Great Sydney Dust Day called Strange Light: Photos from the Great Australian Dust Storm (very entrepreneurial of Mr Powazek), but made my very first public photo sale! (Through my CafePress store) Haven’t seen pic on paper yet, I do hope it prints up OK. There’s $US0.50 somewhere in that system that’s mine, mine!, mine!!, allllll mine!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!
(OK. <quick sigh> Actually, it’s ~80% mine after tax, but the full 50c has, like, total personal gloating rights, heh.)

I’m wondering if this might be one example of The Future of Publishing — The post next to that one on Derek Powazek’s blog is entitled: How to Publish a Magazine in a Day and a Half. OTOH, it’s pretty much a modern version of those early broadsheets about notable events, e.g. a celebrity hanging. On the gripping hand, there are discussable differences as well as similarities.

* Me, bitter about unacknowledged use of my stuff over the years? Certainly.

Dust Day (23rd September, 2009) in Sydney; Stroke cont.

I raced up & took some photos from my flats’ roof, trying to match some of the views I’ve taken on clear days, plus a few more that I thought looked good. It did have this strange effect — the feeling that “either there’s so much stuff in the air it can’t get into my lungs, or there’s something missing from what is getting in” on my ventures out
that kept them brief.

Here’s the link to the Flickr set
www.flickr.com/ photos/ sketchesbymez/ sets/ 72157622437316334

One of the pictures has become quite popular, which is pleasing and terrifying in equal measure. (In this Flickr Gallery by Tom Coates, and two ABC slideshows) I’ve had trouble with my image editor, so didn’t put a watermark on any before I uploaded, which means it doesn’t always have attribution (snarl). This has spurred me to getting a dedicated little watermarking program. It’s like backing up data; so many people don’t really get it working until they’ve had that first really bad experience.

IMG_1783: Dust Day Laundry (23rd September, 2009, Sydney)

There are a lot of other pictures and descriptions online. The Daily Terrorgraph had a whole multipage supplement about it the next day.

Adelaide is *seething*, ‘cos they’ve been getting days like this for years and haven’t had nearly so much attention <sound of sulking>, and Melburnians are pulling out their memories of the spectacular cloud that hit them back in February 1983, a week before the Ash Wednesday Fires — see Australian Bureau of Statistics (www.abs.gov.au) on Natural Disasters.

Health Update: Friend’s Stroke
He is definitely improving, but until they put in a different tracheotomy setup, still can’t talk. He can write, but poorly, and is exercising his working right side. I assume there’s some physiotherapy for the leg & arm he can’t move voluntarily. They’ve been able to put him into a sort of super-armchair on wheels so he can go out into the lounge near the lifts to get a change of scene, look out the windows (the ward ones face blank wall) & have ‘private’ talks. He still gets frustrated & depressed, understandably; as do I, & his other friends.

History Tour Links
Last weekend, a friend helped me get through an ABC-linked history walking tour. This is the photo album on the 702 ABC Sydney Facebook account (702 ABC Sydney) [open, public, you don't have to sign in or be registered on FaceBook], called Slurry Hills and Razorhurst History Walk; also a note on their blog. Good, but laid me up for 2-3 days — mostly recovering Just In Time for Dust Day.

More on Reader’s Digest Building, Surry Hills, Sydney

Readers Digest Moves
26 May 2004

www.propertiesonline.com.au/ laingsimmons/ commercial/ news/ industry_news.asp? f_NewsletterID=936&f_HeadOfficeID=&f_AgentID=445

Following the sale of its headquarters in Surry Hills for $14 million yesterday, Readers Digest is expected to finalise lease execution for a new head office site, within the next few weeks. The publisher is rumoured to be taking up space at 80 Bay Street, Ultimo with plans to occupy the premises by the beginning of September …

Laing+Simmons Commercial was also responsible for the sale of Readers Digest’s high profile building at 26 – 32 Waterloo Street, Surry Hills for $14 million. The deal was negotiated by Mr. Tony Anderson and Mr. Lindsay Sturrock.

The purchasers of the 4,022sqm property at 26 – 32 Waterloo Street, Surry Hills are a private investment company who plan to refurbish it for re-lease as commercial space. Already there has been interest from various groups looking to accommodate educational facilities and possible Campus …

Background Information on the Readers Digest building
26 – 32 Waterloo Street, Surry Hills

The Readers Digest building in Sydney’s Surry Hills is one of the most striking and original examples of late 20th century commercial building design. It was built for Readers Digest and was officially opened in November 1967. Designed by renowned Sydney architect, John James, who studied under the famous French architect, Le Corbusier, the building’s style shows influences from Le Corbusier as well as John James’ interest in oriental architecture especially Japanese traditions.
[www.johnjames.com.au/ johnandhilaryjames-architecture.shtml]

It was the first office in Sydney designed to house a computer system.

Its exterior was constructed in such a way so that it would never need painting. A building rich in detail and quality, it features a massive landscaped rooftop garden, spacious entrance and reception, as well as intriguing sculptural detailing by Doug Annand.

The building occupies an acre of land and covers an entire city block bounded by Waterloo, Cooper and Adelaide Streets and Adelaide Place, Surry Hills.

It is listed as Item of Heritage

Another Stroke

The youngest and last of my mother’s brothers & sisters died suddenly this week. If my calculations are right, he would have been the same age father was when he died, but it sounds like he was spared the slow, suffering, decline in hospital. Of course his family are devastated. This leaves only one aunt on my father’s side alive of my parents’ generation.

Not much to add when it comes to either chemotherapy or my friend. The 3-day test for the new specialist was a bit of a trial, physically. I did use part of it to help get in training for today’s big expedition — a 2-hour history tour of the crime haunts of Surry Hills and Darlinghurst, specially dealing with the notorious Kate Leigh and Tilly Devine. Pretty well washed out by chemotherapy and tests, so I was worried if I’d make it through, but with a bit of luck and care, and leaning on another friend, we got through without too much trauma.

Slow progress with friend’s stroke. One of our big helpers, a childhood friend of his, was away for a week. I was first knocked about by Uncle’s death, then the chemo and other stuff. Next week his partner will have to go back to at least part-time work She wants to make up time now so she’ll have hours up her sleeve when she’s needed later during his rehabilitation. He was understandably pretty down at heart.

But I’m told they were able to take him out in the chair to the ‘lounge area’. At least you can look out the windows (ward windows look out on a blank wall) and get away from 24-hour presence of the other patients.

More slow steps for us both. Plodding on.

Friend’s Stroke: flickers of hope

Yesterday evening A half-opened his eye on the non-stroke side! I was there.

I wasn’t up to getting out today, but it’s reported that he opened *both* eyes and seems to be somewhat aware and responsive.

I’ve followed other young people’s slow, difficult recoveries in my online acquaintances, so this gives me hope, though also a dread of how hard it will be. (Different to mother’s series of strokes, getting worse & worse. Also seen in other older people.) But there are examples of lack of recovery too.

Thinking/hoping this intensive care is Medicare-covered. Further treatment and rehabilitation, dunno.

Metastasis: Chemotherapy 2009, first cycle

First Carboplatin treatment this morning. Tired beforehand, so I slept through some of the infusion, though the form-filling kept me awake more than I wanted.

After it finished, I went up to the Intensive Care Unit to see if I could visit A in the half hour before they close to visitors 1 – 3 pm, but they were busy with him. It may have been doing or preparing for his tracheotomy.

Most times I’ve found it takes some while for the unpleasant effects of the cytotoxic drug(s) to start being felt — it might also be the drugs they give you at the time — so I used the energy and being out already to get supplies, put money in bank, etc. Weather nice, so I planned to take my book and maybe some drink or food and sit with the cats, but time and energy ran out. Slept, then went to visit A in the evening.

Friend’s Stroke: waiting, hoping, fearing

Eight or nine days now since friend A. had cerebral haemmorrhage (on right, don’t know details). Aneurism evacuated, tube now on left to relieve pressure by draining fluid. He’s some spontaneous breathing & body movements, but no eye reaction yet. They’re balancing morphia and hypertension. We talk and touch and massage him, but I just don’t know what the odds are.

He’s only in his mid-forties and so much potential still for him to achieve more excellent things. And I’m just re-starting chemo, so desperately hoping I’ll be well enough to spend the hours with him I am now.

I’m so afraid we’ll be making some kind of “end-of-life” decision about him (please let it not be, please no, please).

So asking for some good vibrations thisaway, if you have ones to spare. I’ll be in and out, depending on sleep and other obligations.

Friend’s Stroke: shock, horror, confusion

A very good friend is ill. For years he’s known of and been treated for idiopathic hypertension. Seems to run in the family. Sometimes crazily high BP; rather drug-resistant, despite a good diet and definitely not being overweight. So over time many, many tests looking for causes, trying different drugs. It looked under control with diet, exercise, drugs. All either free, or at least affordable, with Australian Medicare and PBS (Pharmaceutical Benefit Scheme). Dentistry a different story.

He’s been nagging me to get off my tail and go off to enjoy myself because of my probable future bouts of cancer, and was angry that I hadn’t managed anything during the recently-ended remission. So I did head off for a weekend to Canberra (details to be posted separately), got off the train on Monday afternoon and found his partner, another friend, waiting on Central Station Concourse.

On the weekend a blood vessel burst in his head. Ambulance straight to our local, excellent, hospital. Tests, scans, operation, ICU, ‘nother operation adding ‘nother head-tube, ICU, re-scans; 2 visitors at a time. He’s still unconscious/under sedation. The medistaff are helpful, kind and fairly communicative. I’m trying to give whatever practical support his partner may need (food, laundry, music he or she might like, books for waiting time, ** any aid suggestions welcome **) and taking spells at bedside.

It’s fearful and deeply saddening to see him half-head-shaved, tangled in an ugly reticulation of lines and arcane wires and tape and tubes. Fearful for his easy physicality and fierce intelligence; fearful remembering despair and depression that came with my own pain, weakness and struggles with disabilities in my own illnesses. But, thank Whitlam & Co., all Labor governments, and continuing general Australian public opinion, we don’t fear financial disaster too, nor being thrown out/unplugged for non-payment. Thinking of that because I’d been following & commenting a little in the debate in the USA on the problems in their health care, particularly the insurance & payment arrangements.

This comes under "We Told You So"

Women stretched to snapping point
Adele Horin
July 4, 2009

The 1.5-earner family became the predominant form between 1997 and 2006, from 35 per cent of all couples with children under five to 46 per cent. But life for parents grew harder and less equal. By 2006, all parents were more likely to report feeling stressed

“There was reduced gender equity and strikingly increased reported time pressure,” the study found. Based on 772 families in 1997 and 652 families in 2006, and using Australian Bureau of Statistics data, the research will be presented at the Australian Social Policy Conference next week.

It shows part-time working mothers put in as many hours overall as full-time working mothers – when paid work, housework and child care were tallied – and worked longer than their 1997 counterparts.

The Howard government promoted the 1.5-earner model with family tax policies that provided most benefits to single-earner families and to couples with an 80:20 income split.

.

Journeying

From Trip to Minneapolis (June 2009)

Philosophical observations (formatted as poetry)

…
Train views are like water,
always the same, changing always
fleeting, glimpsed, gone.
…
       — Jo Walton

Colour & Light in a Winter’s Night

Full moon in luminous dusk sky. “Vivid” winter light festival on. Walked & watched w others on fine cool clear evening. Lovely.

Vivid Festival - Light walk Mosaic

1. IMG_1095 – Vivid: Lightbox city, 2. IMG_1085 – Vivid: Customs House, piano, lights, wires, 3. IMG_1060 – Vivid: cowled circle & outlier, 4. IMG_1041 – Vivid: Opera House

Hand-Foot Syndrome – cont. Further side-effect

Cancer Drug Erases Fingerprints
Cancer drug wiped patient’s fingerprints (Aust ABC News)
Drug erases fingerprints, causing immigration drama (SMH)
Cancer drug capecitabine causes patient to lose fingerprints and be detained by U.S. immigration
(The Medical News)
Cancer Drug Causes Patient To Lose Fingerprints And Be Detained By US Immigration (Science Daily)
Side Effect of Drug Capecitabine Is Fingerprint Loss (CancerQuest)
Cancer patient lacking fingerprints held by US customs (The Family GP)
Cancer drug causes patient to lose fingerprints and be detained by US immigration (e! Science News)
Cancer drug erases fingerprints (BBC News)

A patient who took a drug for cancer lost his fingerprints, which caused him to be detained for hours when he tried to visit the United States, according to an unusual case reported on Wednesday. The patient was unaware the treatment had wiped out his fingerprints.
The 62-year-old patient had been taking capecitabine, a follow-up drug for chemotherapy for cancer of the head and neck, Singaporean specialist Eng-Huat Tan and colleagues recounted in a letter to the British journal Annals of Oncology: Vol 20, No 7, p. 1281 (Travel warning with capecitabine).
Capecitabine’s side effects include inflammation of the palms and soles of the feet. The skin can peel, bleed and develop ulcers, and with time can cause fingerprints to be eradicated, Tan said. … “He was detained at the airport customs for four hours because immigration officers could not detect his fingerprints.” … Mr S. was eventually allowed to enter… He was advised to travel with a letter from his cancer doctor to explain his fingerprint-free condition.
The report urged patients who are put on long-term courses of capecitabine to be aware of the unusual risk. [AFP]

Neil Gaiman’s Wedding Poem

A Wedding Poem

This for you, for both of you,

a small poem of happiness
filled with small glories and little triumphs
a fragile, short cheerful song
filled with hope and all sorts of futures

Because at weddings we imagine the future
Because it’s all about ‘what happened next?’
all the work and negotiation and building and talk
that makes even the tiniest happily ever after
something to be proud of for a wee forever

This is a small thought for both of you
like a feather or a prayer,
a wish of trust and love and hope
and fine brave hearts and true.

Like a tower, or a house made all of bones and dreams
and tomorrows and tomorrows and tomorrows.

Neil Gaiman’s Journal: post-wedding post, Saturday, 19th August, 2006

And we thought they just made those stories up

Art imitates Life imitates Art?

A New Zealand couple from Roturua are reportedly on the run after $NZ10 million – instead of $NZ10,000 – was mistakenly deposited in their Westpac bank account.

(Assorted news stories abound; comments (some context, especially on the comments).)

Dishonouring my Inner Magpie

Trying to resist the Pretty, Pretty, Shiny Things!

How cruel is this lioness, tempting, teasing, playing with her prey.

Science & Technology, destroying Wonder, Beauty, Art & History

Religion & History through Science

Have you seen the new comprehensive interactive three-dimensional image/model of the Saint Domitilla catacombs, made using laser scanners & digital images (an animation) by a team lead by Dr Norbert Zimmerman of the Vienna Academy of Sciences (Österreichische Akademie der Wissenschaften — ÖAW on Totenstadt )? (BBC story; START-Projekt site. I find Fig. 9 particularly impressive.) Google may have made an offer already (Google UnderEarth? Google AncientEarth?).

Local Hero: They’re using 3DM Analyst from ADAM Technology in Perth, Western Australia, to generate high-resolution 3D photo models. It sounds like great fun: “the same camera and software can be used for the smallest projects, in the order of 30 microns (over 1,000 points per square millimetre), up to large projects spanning several kilometres.” My optimist senses wonderful and amazing possibilities; my cynic sees baby-sized Hello Kitty dolls personalized with your daughter’s face; my pessimist foresees even darker and dirtier uses.

Art through Science

A video of an installation, 9 was 6 if (by Swedish artist Christian Andersson), from the “it’s not a blog” of Mattias Rickardsson – nu även digital at www.analogue.org/ mr

A kinetic sculpture at the BMW Museum, recorded on the ART+COM site. It is made from “714 metal spheres, hanging from thin steel wires attached to individually-controlled stepper motors, and covers an area of six square metres”.

Man alone of animals plays the ape to his dreams

Between ANZAC Day and Mother’s Day, as April turns over into May, Sydney feels the breath of winter approaching. There are birthdays and anniversaries important to me in the first week of May, immovably connected with the memory of walking out in the chill of dawn, watching puffs of breath mist out into the air. Daylight saving’s ended; dark closes in earlier & earlier; thoughts can turn towards larger themes.
From Bartleby, an excellent & useful site:
Modern Essays, 1921. (Christopher Morley, ed.) 30. Beyond Life by James Branch Cabell:

… romance tricks him, but not to his harm. For, be it remembered that man alone of animals plays the ape to his dreams. Romance it is undoubtedly who whispers to every man that life is not a blind and aimless business, not all a hopeless waste and confusion; and that his existence is a pageant (appreciatively observed by divine spectators), and that he is strong and excellent and wise: and to romance he listens, willing and thrice willing to be cheated by the honeyed fiction. The things of which romance assures him are very far from true: yet it is solely by believing himself a creature but little lower than the cherubim that man has by interminable small degrees become, upon the whole, distinctly superior to the chimpanzee …
And it is this will that stirs in us to have the creatures of earth and the affairs of earth, not as they are, but “as they ought to be,” which we call romance …

For Easter

Opening Words

I believe the earth
exists, and
in each minim mote
of its dust the holy
glow of thy candle.
Thou
unknown I know,
thou spirit,
giver,
lover of making, of the
wrought letter,
wrought flower,
iron, deed, dream.
Dust of the earth,
help thou my
unbelief. Drift
gray become gold, in the beam of
vision. I believe with
doubt. I doubt and
interrupt my doubt with belief. Be,
beloved, threatened world.
Each minim
mote.
Not the poisonous
luminescence forced
out of its privacy,
The sacred lock of its cell
broken. No,
the ordinary glow
of common dust in ancient sunlight.
Be, that I may believe. Amen.
— Denise Levertov

Easter has come to have associations of death & disease for me.

QueryFAIL: Responding to part of the discussion

From Making Light: On QueryFAIL
nielsenhayden.com/ makinglight/ archives/ 011160.html
A summarised summary by Jim Macdonald, Making Light moderator

Apparently a group of agents designated Thursday, the 5th of March, 2009, as official Queryfail day. Throughout the day they’d Twitter those little 140-character descriptions of the worst queries they read (either that day, or had ever gotten in their careers).

“A group of online agents, book editors and periodicals acquisition editors are posting about their queries in real time. The idea is to educate people about what exactly it is in a query that made us stop reading and say “Not for me.” We’re being very careful not to include personal identifiers of any kind. The idea isn’t to mock or be intentionally cruel, but to educate.”

To what should have been no one’s surprise, authors who found out about it got upset … Amid stories of authors planning to boycott the agents who took part in the first Queryfail, a second Queryfail is apparently being planned for the end of the month.

“Last week, literary agents blogged about failed queries on Twitter—generating a query fail feed, an agent fail thread, a GalleyCat post, and an emotional debate.”

and

“after hearing from several writers who were upset by the event, I have removed the specific entries. Instead, I’ll focus on what I learned by following QueryFail.
I apologize to those writers who felt disrespected. My intention in reposting was to share what I thought was good information. I still think it’s good information. But if you know me personally, you know I’m an empathetic soul and I don’t wish to cause another writer distress.”

See also: AgentFail, WriterFail.

My comment (#103) on one aspect of this discussion:

Cat Meadors (#93) said: “Don’t be crazy” isn’t at all useful, and seems to be what 99% of the “advice” boils down to. Crazy people won’t listen, and non-crazy people don’t need to.)

Help with defining or examples of crazy and non-crazy, and how one thing can be seen as both in different circumstances could be very useful, though Miss Snark (misssnark.blogspot.com) could be a better source.

I think I’m 98-99% non-crazy; feedback says maybe only 90-95%. So I’ve had to, with much struggle and still not always successfully, modify my (identifiable) public behaviour, writing and media output to make it more acceptable. I am rather angry and bitter about that, still sensitive on certain points — another bit that needs to be controlled (so I can understand, if not accept, some reactions). Honest feedback, even overhearing you being criticised between two other people, can be useful, if hurtful.

Many times I’ve heard people being mocked, called crazy, weird or otherwise unacceptable for expressing thoughts or behaving in ways I’ve found truthful or very understandable. It hurts, but it does show how I need to mask and modify to be acceptable (and perhaps try to argue or express those thoughts in ways the ‘mainstream’, ‘normal’ (mundane?) culture can digest); and, sometimes, consider the rightness of my thoughts <g>.

OTOH: Lotsa crude, rude, stupid vapidity (IMO) in lotsa comments (and blogs) in lotsa places. Lotsa baaad writing. Sturgeon’s Law? It’s wearying to get to the good bits

(Disclaimer: I make no claim to be a good writer, and have little authorial ambition. I do like to read.)